City of Delusion
by MagicalRandomnessProductions
Summary: After finding out everything she thought she knew wasn't real, Bella doesn't know what to think. But with blood spilling she doesn't have a lot of time to figure it out. Especially when someone is watching her, counting down the minutes. Tick tock...
1. Chapter 1

Confidential

Agent number: 54

Name: Isabella Marie Swan

Rank: Special Agent

Status: Temporarily removed from service. She has been given trial drug 889 and is now currently under surveillance by Agent 49: Mary Alice Brandon.

No more information could be found at present time. The rest of the information has been scrambled into an undecipherable code.


	2. Chapter 2

Destroy this City of Delusion  
Break these walls down  
I will avenge  
Justify my reasons  
with your blood

Muse –City of Delusion

I woke to warm sun light filtering in through window on to my bed; I yawned and stretched out, curling my toes. I resisted the urge to snuggle back down into bed and go back to sleep, and pushed myself out of bed, but as soon as my feet touched the icy cold wood floor I recoiled, slipped and hit my head on the bed frame groaning. I rubbed my head with the hand that wasn't pushing me off the bed, hissing in pain. Well. That was going to bruise.

Once I had finally got out of bed I got ready to go out for my morning run I pulled on my trainers and left my apartment, took the first turn away from the building and pushed off into a fast run. My feet pounded on the hard pavement pushing my body to the limit, I usually ran about five kilometres each morning and went with Alice to the gym each night.

Alice is my best friend and has been since I joined university. She had majored in fashion and I had majored in English so, really, we were practically polar opposites, but we clicked straight away when we had first met. She had come up to me on our first day at our free period we had together and sat down by me, started making conversation and then she asked whether I wanted to go have lunch with her. I accepted after she reasoned with me that neither of us knew anybody here seeing as it was our first day and we have been friends ever since.

She's like a best friend and a mother all in one - sometimes she worries about me too much fussing over the most menial things. Although, I wouldn't have much of a mother to compare her to. I breathed out, pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and continued to push myself harder, increasing my speed. I took in my surroundings breathing in the fresh morning air watching all the green pass by me as I ran.

I crossed the road looking at my surroundings once more before hitting something with full force falling flat on my ass. When I looked up I could see what I ran into was less of a something and more of a someone. He held out his hand to me in a silent gesture almost as if avoiding conversation but as soon as are hands touched I felt a strong sense of déjà vu coming over me. I shook it off and stood up, opening my mouth to apologize when I saw two green eyes looking back at me giving me that déjà vu all over again.

Those eyes...

_He smiled into my neck as our bodies where pressed against one another. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me too him in a loving gesture. I could feel his breath on my neck sending shivers down my spine tracing his fingers along my bare hip bone, his green eyes capturing mine for a second._

"_Bella" he moa..._

Oh dear lord. Was I just having fantasies about a total stranger? A total stranger whose hand I was still clinging to for dear life. A total stranger who was now standing there looking at me like I'm totally deranged. I probably am. Well Bella, you know what they say. Apparently your libido does go up as you get older... _Wonderful._

Blushing, I mumbled a sorry, dropped his hand like it was a burning hot iron and continued my run home before I could embarrass myself further. Well that sucked. I finally find a man who is gorgeous and hopefully sane, and what do I do? Have horny daydreams about him. God, am I that desperate? Okay, okay it had been a while... But not that long. A couple of months at most. I think? Oh, hell. I am _that_ desperate.

Trying not to cry at the thought of my almost celibate life I pulled out my phone to text Alice. I was in need of some retail therapy...

"Hello?" Alice's 'posh' phone accent trilled out.

"Allo? 'oo eez it?" I trilled back, in a French accent of course.

"Oh, it's you." Alice said back, returning to her normal London accent. I felt unloved.

"What! No 'it's wonderful to hear from you darling?' Not even an 'I missed you.' Well, I'm hurt."

"Bella, I saw you yesterday."

"We're soul mates – we supposed to miss each other." I fake cried.

"Bella I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. I'm not a lesbian!" She yelled back.

If she's going to take it that badly "You know you're not going to be able to fight it for much longer! I'll be waiting!" I then rapidly switched tones. As you can probably tell, this was our usual phone call routine, only to be broken in emergencies. Like a Vivienne Westwood sale for example. "Anyway, darling, I'm in some desperate need of some retail therapy." I drawled, sounding like my fancy Aunt Barbara. The squeal that resounded down the phone nearly deafened me.

"Oh. My. God! Let's hit Oxford Street and Covent Garden! I heard there's a sale at Harvey Nichols! Oh! And I saw some shoes to die for - they where red Jimmy Choos. Oh my God! This going to be so great... " she carried on jabbering at me. I just let her ramble on. She had gone to Alice land where all the clouds are made of candy floss and the sea is pink lemonade.

"Whoa slow down Tinkerbell I said I wanted retail therapy not a full shopping meltdown" I teased I could hear her huff through the phone. "Get your stuff together and get a move on. We have some serious shopping to do!" another squeal threatened to break my ear drums.

"Shall I come and pick you up as soon as I'm ready?"

"Perfection!" I said manoeuvring the phone so I was holding it between my ear and my shoulder. "I'll be waiting darling" l drawled. To excited to care she just chirped "Bye Bella" down the phone and hung up. I shook my head and put the phone down; I showered quickly and pulled my hair into a messy bun with hair pins. I pulled on some jeans and a long sleeved blue v-neck shirt.

Alice arrived at my apartment to pick me up and walked through the front door letting herself in, hard to imagine that this bothered me before, huh. Well, I've gotten used to it know she's even got her own key to the apartment! She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the door eager to start our 'retail therapy'.

We drove out and park in a small car park at one end of Oxford Street, where we shopped the entire way up one side before we got to the more expensive shops at the top and Alice bought her jimmy choos she had been squealing about. We walked back down the on the other side stopping in whatever shops took our fancy. Which when your us was practically every shop we past I swear! We even went into some hardware store so Alice could buy some security cameras! I do worry about her sometimes, I really do.

We were both laughing when we were walking into the car park riding on a shopping high there really isn't anything better. Well, not anything maybe chocolate. Yum. Chocolate is apparently supposed to be as good as an orgasm. I wouldn't know though would I, I'm practically living the life of a bloody nun.

I turned towards Alice and that's when it happened. I was reaching in my bag to grab my phone, when some creepy – looking guy swiped my purse. I didn't even realise what was happening - it was like my body had gone into overdrive .I caught him by the back of the shirt before he could get away then it all happened so fast. My hands were flying everywhere, I was fighting off the guy in some very strange ways I didn't even know I knew how to do and I _don't_ mean that in the naughty sense. It was all very weird.

Then he was underneath me on the floor, I was grabbing my bag and letting him up. He immediately started running off in the opposite directing, giving me a bewildered stare over his shoulder. He probably realised there was too much attention on us know for him to fight back.

I looked at Alice. "Um, what just happened?" I could hear my voice getting higher. This was all too much – I could not have done what I just did. It's just not possible. My hands were shaking and clasped tightly around my bag.

Alice put her hand on my arm "Come on Bella, let's just go. People are looking." she murmured, her big blue eyes looking wide and sad. But not frightened. It was like she had expected this to happen. "Bella its okay, you're in shock, we'll go in here." She soothed, dragging me into a nearby Starbucks detouring away from the car park.

The thing was, I wasn't in shock. It was more like I had done this many times before and that it was normal for me. I let myself be dragged by Alice into the coffee shop.

"S - Shouldn't we call the police?" I said, my eyes wide with confusion.

Alice shook her head. "Nah, its fine. Unless you want to press charges or something?"

I groaned."Oh God. Should I? Though they'll probably end up doing me for assault or something. And that's not the worst part. How on earth did I do that, Alice? To my knowledge I have never had karate lessons or whatever the hell that was! I thought I was a normal, kind person, not someone who goes around assaulting random strangers!" I was getting louder, rambling on. I should be quiet.

"Bella, the guy attacked you first." Alice reminded me.

"But still!" I wailed. Alice just smiled at me and I could sense that she was about to brush this situation off, make it seem unimportant, the change in her tone wouldn't have been noticeable to anyone else.

I was right. "Look, Bella, it's nothing. Some guy attacked you and you fought back – that's a perfectly natural response. It felt wrong because you're obviously not used to fighting people."

"That's not what felt wrong Alice" I looked at her in the eyes seeing something there I couldn't fathom. Guilt. "What felt wrong was the fact it felt natural." I couldn't shake the feeling off. Alice's theory made sense, but it didn't feel right somehow. I knew that being able to fight that way with no training whatsoever was not natural, especially not with the stares I'd been getting. I knew I was right.

I sighed and asked Alice what drink she wanted. "Espresso." Was the immediate answer. I swear that girl exists on coffee.

"Right away, madam." I saluted. Shaking my head, I walked to the end of the queue. Humming, I scanned the menu. Ooh chocolate cream frappuchino! And because I was distracted, I had to stumble into the nearest object or person. Of course. No, Bella can't go a whole day without bumping into at least five different things. No sir.

"Sorr..." Oh my "God I am so sorry" yes he certainly was a god. Gah, stop it! My eyes widened taking in the person before me the same man from this morning. I resisted having a full blown mental breakdown and took a deep breath. He let go of the arm he had grabbed when I had fallen into him, steadying me.

"It's not a problem." he said, his eyes not meeting mine before turning around and making his way over to the counter to order to his drink. I followed him with my eyes. My eyes trained on his ass ogling him until I realised what I was doing and pulled my eyes away.

"Espresso and Chocolate Cream Frappuchino" The barista called out. I went over thanked her and got away as fast as I could over to Alice.

"Alice" I hissed she was engrossed in her magazine on the table "Alice!" she still didn't look up. i picked up one of the menus of the next table and hit her over the head. She looked up at me startled.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You weren't listening!" I argued.

"That doesn't mean you have an open invitation to hit me! What did you want anyway?"

"Well." I started "You know I never told you the reason I called this morning. Well he just walked in" I told her taking the seat next to her.

"Who is it?" she asked perking up scanning the coffee shop eyes drifting round coming to rest back on me. I motioned over to the far corner where he was now sat with his drink reading a newspaper.

"Over there" his head shot up and looked over here, I blushed and looked away but Alice kept on looking I noticed they seemed to be almost having a conversation with their eyes. It lasted for all but a second, I just about caught the exchange in their eyes. After a short amount of time his eyes flashed to mine then back to Alice, Alice's head whipped round to face me, a smile planted on her face.

"What was that about?" she looked at me confused bringing her espresso cup to her lips.

"What was what about?" she said giving me an incredulous expression

"Well, Alice, I highly doubt you where having a staring contest with him"

"What if I was?"

"Well, I've got dibs" just as I said this the guy looked up and smiled, oh God did he hear me!? No. No, impossible, I'm imagining things. Then why did he look so pleased with himself? Whilst I was pondering this Alice had took her phone out and started texting. I leaned over and took a look over her shoulder and she immediately moved it from my line of sight.

"God Alice, you would make a crap spy"

"Really? And how would you know?" her eyebrows raised "Wait, that doesn't make any sense." I was only half paying attention because Green Eyes just got up to leave.

"Oh well" I chirped "it's such a wonderful sunny day. Let's go for a walk!" Alice just gave me another incredulous look.

"Excuse me? What the hell has gotten into you?" I watched as he walked towards the door, then pulled Alice up and away from the magazine. She let out a shocked squeak making everyone in Starbucks give us odd stares. I grabbed our drinks and her magazine after her protests about leaving it. There! I spied him by a tree, yes!

"Ok, the real reason I want to go for a walk is that Green Eyes just walked out of Starbucks" I said pulling her down the street keeping a good distance behind him so he wouldn't notice we where following him.

"So you want to stalk him!? Green eyes? Really?" she asked as we carried on following him turning a corner.

"Well I don't know his name so this is was the best I could come up with. It's not like I had prior warning an extremely hot man would suddenly become available, is it? And no. We are not stalking him we are walking in the same direction as him whilst I subtly observe him." She just looked at me

"Bella that is classed as stalking! I so do not want any part in your little stalking game! And since when do you do anything subtly? Remember Mike Newton?" I grabbed her before she could walk away.

"You are staying and that is final! I stick by you when you have a wacky scheme now you will stick by me during mine!" I whisper – yelled, blushing at the Mike Newton comment. She so didn't go there. She sulked next to me knowing there was no way in hell she was getting out of this. Green eyes turned down to the road leading to Hyde Park so I pulled Alice in that direction making her trip up in the process.

"Hey, stop it!" She snapped straightening her coat as we hurried across the road under marble arch. Wow it's so tall! We hurried under it once I had stopped marvelling at its height. I mean c'mon that thing is huge! Green Eyes was now in Hyde Park and had slowed down. I slowed my pace considerably so we wouldn't be noticed; we carried on following him for a couple of metres.

"This is absolutely ridiculous! What are you going to do when he wants to go home? Set up camp in front of it!" she said loudly maybe a little too loudly as Green Eyes looked around at us. So as to not look suspicious I turned and found a woman with a baby walking next to us. I started talking to her.

"Aww he is so cute what's his name?" I cooed whilst looking at the baby bundled in her arms. The women's happy expression turned insulted. What did I do?

"It's a girl!" Oh my bad, she huffed and walked away across the park before I could apologize. I mean, it was an easy mistake to make. That child looks like a boy, and it's not like she was dressed in pink. What was I supposed to think? Beside me, Alice was in stitches doubled over with laughter. I glared at her and sat next to her.

"You should have seen your face!" She said between laughs "How did you manage to mix up the gender of the baby? It was obvious!"

"Hey!" I defended myself "In all fairness that baby was very masculine and I wasn't paying any attention" this still didn't stop her from finding it any more hilarious than she did before. When she had finally stopped laughing we realised Green Eyes had walked off and we couldn't see where he had gone. As you can imagine, Alice was deeply disappointed.

"Ah well we can stalk him some other time, but for now can we get to the car? My feet and arms are killing me carrying round all these bags" She said happily pulling me back through the park to the car park. We managed to stuff all the bags in the car boot and back seat.

We made our way back to my apartment in the car singing along to Queen songs on the radio at full volume. We were in fits of laughter we got to my apartment getting strange looks from my snooty neighbour Mrs Hardy. She is convinced Alice is my lesbian lover and always gives me disapproving looks when I take her to my apartment which I personally find hilarious - that was where the lesbian joke came from.

"Hey Mrs Hardy" I grinned at her she gave me a weary smile.

"Did you have fun today girls?" she asked

"Oh yes thanks. A _lot _of fun" Winking at her she looked startled, obviously taking it out of context. Perfect. There was no use in correcting her, she wouldn't believe me, so I just played along and had fun with it, much to Alice's dismay.

We went up to my apartment leaving a startled Mrs. Hardy downstairs. We flopped on the couch after bringing the bags in. I looked at her I knew we were thinking the same thing.

"Movie night?" She grinned and nodded. We got comfy and started with our favourite movie - Phantom of the Opera. I still say Christine should have stayed with the Phantom. Raoul is just boring. I mean yes, he's got all the money, but no personality! When the duet between Raoul and Christine came up, we sang along together I was Raoul and she was Christine. We fell about laughing at the end seeing as neither of us can sing and e were adding suggestive lyrics. Afterwards we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with me reciting all the lines. Personally I think I should be made an honorary Python, but I haven't gotten a response from my letter yet… After the last movie had finished I looked over at Alice to see which movie she wanted to watch next and saw that she was fast asleep.

I yawned only just realising how tired I was and grabbed her a pillow and duvet so she could crash on the couch. Once I had tucked Alice in I got myself ready for bed and snuggled down under the covers, reflecting on the day. It really was an odd day - even for me. I fantasized and stalked one stranger and attacked another after I was mugged. Let's hope tomorrow is more normal.

Normal? Me? Yeah that's going to happen. I can always dream, I guess…


	3. Chapter 3

**Well hello, here is another chapter people! Now we've put blood, sweat and tears into this thing so please leave a review! Now, read on my lovelies**

**randomness xx**

**oOo and I would just like to say that MI5 does not give out information freely over the internet so if we have put anything wrong please let us no.**

**Magical xx**

**Disclaimer:**

**Us: We own the DVD does that count?**

**Edward: No**

**Us: But**

**Edward: No**

**Us: Damn**

All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
Got to open my eyes to everything

Evanescence – Bring me to life

_A group of feet stomped on the pavement. One after the other, in a fast cycle under the glow of the moon. The first guy weaved around the corner, futilely trying to escape from me and the rest of the agents on their trail. As soon as they had all realised they were being chased all loyalty flew out the window. It was every man for themselves. Cowards._

_I watched from my hiding place as the man stopped and lent over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath before turning and realizing if he didn't move soon he would be caught and locked up. Well good luck with that. I knew he wouldn't do well in prison. Before the man could do anything the other agents turned the corner and began to surround him. This had to be the most satisfying part. _

"_Shit" the man cursed under his breath._

_I emerged out of alley next to him and came up from behind, while the others surrounded him from the front._

"_Freeze." The man turned around slowly eyes widening as he met my deep brown eyes. I kept my poker face intact as I watched him intently watching for anything suspicious. I looked up at my partners conveying the message in my eyes that I was going to go forward. I was met with strong dark eyes telling me to go ahead. I watched Alice nod at me quickly._

_Then looking next to her I saw a pair of weary bright green ones tell me to be careful. I l looked at him pointedly. He gave me a restrained nod giving me the go ahead. I knew he hated watching me do this. It's why no one could know, why it was forbidden in our contracts._

_I made my way forward cautiously assessing what he could do, he didn't have any weapons, so everything was okay on that front, but was he a good fighter? I wasn't sure, but from what I could tell by his stance his left side was his weakest as he had his right side facing me, without realizing he was showing me his weakness._

_He also had his emotions displayed clearly on his face, showing how scared shitless he was. Knowing this just made this whole thing a lot easier. Showing your fear gives the opponent the upper hand. I could tell he knew getting away was pretty much hopeless but a determined spark still flickered in his eyes, showing me I might be in for a fight._

_I took the last step towards him watching his right fist twitch reading itself to shoot out but just as he decided to throw the punch I grabbed his fist and pulled his arm round behind his head, halting his movements. I gritted my teeth as I held him in place to try and stop him jerking about, struggling in my grasp. I may not have been as strong as him but I knew how to throw my weight around. I leaned down to his ear feeling him shiver;_

"_Don't try me." I spat, threat dripping from my words "You'll lose." I could feel a smirk curving my mouth. I felt his struggling stop abruptly and I knew he had given up. I pulled the hand cuffs from my pocket and secured them around his wrists I looked up at the other two who had been watching intently to jump in at the first sign of trouble. I beckoned Alice over. _

"_Get him in the van, we'll take him to HQ for investigation on the rest of his group" She nodded at me. I slowly released my grip on him, ready to pass him onto Alice,who had her arms ready to grab him but before she could he ran._

_If this wasn't so important I probably would have laughed. So would you if you were watching a criminal try to escape with his wrists cuffed together behind his back! I watched as Alice broke into a full blown sprint and caught up with him, tackling him to the ground and pulling him into a hold on the cold, tarmac road._

"_Now" She said "I'm going to let you up slowly and you will co-operate. Comprende?" she wasn't giving him a choice it was a strict order. She kept his hands firmly grasped in hers, pushing him to the car. I could hear his grunts of frustration. She opened the van doors and pushed him in, a groan of protest escaping his mouth as he hit the hard car floor._

"_Shall we take him to HQ?" _

"_Yeah, you go ahead. I want to talk to Bella for a moment" Edward said, making his presence known once again. Alice looked between the two of us and nodded, jumping into the van, the tyres screeching as she put her foot down and accelerated into the distance. I turned to him and just looked at him for a moment._

_He wrapped his arms around me and buried his head into the crook of my neck, laying butterfly kisses on the skin. I brought my hands from my sides to wrap around his neck, to play with the soft hair on his neck. _

"_I'm still not used to watching you do that. I hate it" He breathed into my neck._

"_It's my job. I can't just stop doing it. I feel the same when it's you up there, but we can't do anything about it - if we so much as make them suspect something, it would be the end of us" I sighed and smiled softly into his shoulder " The end of this. And I don't want this to end, Edward"_

"_I don't either." He whispered into my shoulder. He brought his head back up just as I did, and looked into my eyes. Looking right into my soul, uncovering everything that was hidden, everything that made me, well, me. I smiled as he leaned down to connect his lips with mine, my eyes fluttering shut and a dim glow showing behind my lids. His warm breath blew on my face just before his lips met mine…_

_*******_

Damn...

I was so close to kissing him. Why do I always wake up in the best parts of a dream? Oh well, at least I had a name for Green Eyes, it was getting a little stalkerish, calling him Green Eyes all the time. Edward...that worked. I liked it. Of course I would though, wouldn't I? It's a name dredged up from subconscious, but it suited him. Old fashioned, romantic, like him I suppose. Though how I got that from one days' worth of stalkery I'll never know. But in the dream he seemed like that. Bella, that was a _dream _– it is NOT real. I mentally slapped myself. It didn't work. Time to get out of bed...

Eh, it was time to get up anyway. It's not like I couldn't fantasise about Edward anywhere. Yawning, I slung my legs out of the bed and rubbed my eyes. I looked at the clock to find it was around about the time I usually got up. Well. Nothing to stop me going about my normal routine. Except strange dreams about a guy I'd only seen twice (and followed once, but let's not go there).

Humming along to a song I bounced down the stairs. I was feeling perky this morning – pity it was about to get ruined. I headed for the letterbox, anticipating my next Monty Python fan club letter. Cough, cough. That was a _joke_. I'm not that obsessed. I'm not! Stop looking at me like that!

Ah-hem. Anyway, um yes. Moving on. I looked down at the pile of letters I had just grabbed. Well, wasn't I popular today. Bill. Bill. Stupid insurance letter. University newsletter. Monthly letter from ex boyfriend. La-di-da. La-di-do. Ooh, interesting, an unknown letter. Dumping the rest of my mail on the hallway table I ripped open the letter. I never said I was known for my patience!

My hand froze as my eye fell upon the sender's name. Renee Dwyer.

Also known as my mother.

What the hell could she want from me now? My blood? My first - born child? A frigging organ? God knows what.

*********

_Dear Bells_, the letter read. How dare she call me Bells! She has no right!

_I know you won't be happy to receive this letter_ (Damn straight!)_, but I felt I had to send it. I know i haven't been the best mother. _(Noooo. That's not true at all. Of course, I always thought very highly of you)_ But I couldn't not tell you how sorry I'm feeling. My life has turned around completely. I don't even think you'd recognise me! I know you won't believe me, but I really am sorry for the way I treated you. I'm your mother, and I love you. _(Oh, for the love of God!)

_I'm a mother who needs her baby back._ (I felt numb this was too surreal. This wasn't my mother - to her I was a burden, a waste of space, a mistake.)

_You were the one good thing in my life back then, and I lost you. But now my life has changed, improved and I want you back. The biggest change in my life would shock even you. I don't sleep around anymore. I fell in love again. Phil. I think you'd like him. He reminds me of you, baby. _(Baby? Reminds me of you? Remarried? My hands were shaking. She got married without me, her own daughter? So much for motherly love.)

_You would have loved my wedding. We went the whole ten miles, big white dress, catering, everything. _(You went the whole hog on your wedding but couldn't afford my lunch money?)

_I'm asking for your forgiveness, and I want to see you again. _(That was it, I snapped, and screamed bloody murder, all the pent up anger flowing from my body. I probably woke up the whole apartment block. Now she wants my forgiveness? After 6 years, 6 whole bloody years she chooses now to apologize?)

_All my love,_

_Renee Dwyer_

_P.S. Enclosed are my new address, phone number and money for plane tickets. I hope you'll come._

Money for plane tickets? To where? She didn't specify – I could go anywhere. I mean it isn't like plane tickets will make up for childhood neglect. Yeah, really. Here are some plane tickets, please forgive me!

I was fuming. How dare she, after all these years! I screeched as loud as I could, stomping my feet and throwing my arms around. I heard frantic steps coming towards the door. A disorientated Alice swayed to the door with a confused, scared look on her face, clutching my rolling pin to her chest.

"Whas goin on?" she slurred, eyes darting everywhere. She looked incredibly tired.

"What's going on is this!" I spat, throwing the letter at her. She blinked and scanned it, eyes growing wider as she got to the bottom.

"Oh." She said in a small voice. "In light of this, I can understand the screaming." I nodded, still feeling resentful. "You want to talk?" She asked, her eyes still wider than usual.

I shook my head. "I just want to be alone for a while." I said, "You can grab breakfast and do what you want whilst I go out." I told her before sprinting upstairs to get dressed

*******

I walked down the street, meandering, trying _so_ hard not to think of the letter.

That stupid letter.

Why'd she have to interfere with my life exactly when I had too many problems already? It was typical; Renee always had to be the most important thing, the centre of attention. Well not today, I told myself, forcing the letter and its contents out of my mind. Instead I determinedly started window shopping, telling myself to focus on the clothes rather than my mother.

But there, right in the window of one of my favourite stores', looking innocuous was a skirt. But not just any skirt, a polka dot skirt, and one that brought back many memories, one in particular.

No! Don't go there Bella. No! Too late. There I was, strolling down memory lane…

********

My mother's skirt swished around her calves, making a soft _swoosh_ every time she moved. I knew the skirt was new. I also knew she'd paid for it with the money that was meant to pay for my school dinners.

"You don't mind, do you, sweetheart?" I shook my head obediently, of course not. I was only eight years old. What could I say or do?

"Good girl." She smiled, patting me on the head. "I knew you'd see it my way. I know Johnny will just love me in this!" She giggled like a schoolgirl. I didn't know who Johnny was, but what did it matter? There was always some new man for me to call "Uncle", and be polite too. If I didn't, Renee would slap me. One hard _smack _against the cheek that would leave a red mark, which meant I couldn't go to school the next day. And through it all Renee would tell me what a selfish, miserable, ungrateful child I was and didn't I want a new Daddy? She'd give me dirty stares and tell me to stop being a baby when I cried.

I sometimes thought that she should never have become a mother. She was too scattered, too young and too childlike to ever take care of a child. I ended up taking care of myself, most of the time.

I remember, later that evening when Renee came back, after leaving me alone for hour. I was a pretty self-sufficient child, but I hated those nights when she left me for hours on end. The shadows on the walls looked creepier, and there was no one to tell me that the monsters under the bed weren't real. Not that Renee had ever done that for me, but she was better than nothing.

I can see it clearly now. Me, small and underdeveloped - I had always been small for my age - as I grasped the frying pan. I'd been trying to make pancakes. Yes, that was it. The smell of burning pancakes permeating the air had woken me up - I'd fallen asleep, you see. But just as I pulled the pan off the grill I heard a key turn in the lock. Ah, Renee was home.

She spilled in, her arm slung around a seedy looking man, and her drunken laughter sounded unnaturally loud in the silence. Her lipstick was smeared too, and she had love bites on her neck. Of course, I didn't know that they were love bites, but I knew that they weren't normal.

"Bella! Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella! I'm home!" She slurred, her words mixing with her sniggers. I ignored her. I'd seen her in this state far too many times to care. I focused on taking the hot pan to the sink and piled it on top of the other filthy plates Renee had yet to clean.

"Hey, don't ignore me. I'm your mother!" She sounded like a pissed teenager. Hell, she acted like one half the time. "Hello? God, are you stupid as well as a nuisance? Yes? Well at least do something useful and get me and Jimbo here a drink" Jimbo? I'd thought it was Johnny. She must really be drunk. But, nevertheless I got the bottle of vodka she kept in her room and brought it in to them.

"Bella, I specifca-specificalla-sepifc- specifically told you to get us glasses!" She yelled, never mind the fact she couldn't get her words straight, no, lets drink more alcohol. Great example, mother dearest.

I turned away, slipping my "blank" face on, and made for the kitchen, reaching into the cupboard to reach the glasses I knew she kept there. Unfortunately my hand slipped, and I dropped the glass on the counter. The resounding _smash_ reverberated in my head and highlighted the pain in my hand. I'd cut myself and was now bleeding profusely.

"What the hell is going on in there?" Renee shouted, storming into the kitchen, where I was staring at my hand. When I was younger, I couldn't stand the sight of blood, it made me sick. That, combined with the fact that Renee was about to swoop down and start yelling at me made me start to cry. I couldn't stop; it was like a compulsion, something I couldn't control.

"Shut up! Stop screaming! It's just a fucking cut! It's not that bad. Oh, for fucks sake. Shut the hell up! The neighbours will hear you!" Renee fumed, with no concern for my wound. But I wouldn't stop crying, so she slapped me. It was a good one too, loud, hard and so, so painful. I just stared up at her. She did it again. Three times, until her date lumbered in, wondering what all the commotion was about.

"Huh? What are you doin' to the kid, Renee? God, she's what, six? An' there you are, slapping her! What did she do to deserve that? It's just a glass." He turned to me. "It'll be alright. I'll just put at bandage on it for you, eh?" I sniffed and nodded. This was a new occurrence. Renee's boyfriends_ never_ took any notice of me. He smiled and walked to the bathroom. Biting my lip, I looked at Renee; she was slumped on the couch, looking grumpy. No remorse. No nothing. Not even an "I'm sorry". She narrowed her eyes at me, her lips pursed. Standing up, she flounced off to her room skirt swishing. That skirt…

*******

It was always polka dot skirts that brought on the memory, the same as my mothers, made me feel eight years old again. I could never forgive my mother for neglecting me like that, for making me feel worthless. I knew I wasn't, and no amount of sorrowful letters could change my feelings towards her.

But I could stop the memory affecting me so much.

I smiled faintly and went towards the shop. Time for a new skirt…

Then I saw _him_ again. Edward. Why is it whenever I see him I feel like I'm home, a sense of relief? Kind of weird, but kind of nice at the same time. He was heading towards me on the path a couple of metres ahead of me. Oh shit - what do I do? if I run I'll look suspicious, and if I just stay here and stare at him I'll look mentally challenged - he already almost caught me and Alice, well, mostly me, stalking him yesterday. So what did I do? I ducked into the nearest store. That _wasn't_ the one I'd been meaning to go in.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just ducked into Mamas and Papas.

Kill me now! Please I would rather be poked in the eyes with hot pokers then spend another minute walking around this store smiling at the oh so helpful store worker who has been telling me the ins and outs of baby Pushchairs.

Let's get one thing straight. I am _not_ a baby person. You want to gush over adorable babies? You go to Alice. You want to sigh over gorgeous men? _Then _you come to me.

"This one is my favourite!" she gushed "It's light so you can carry it anywhere you want, and it also has a pouch at the back to put shopping in with cute teddy bears embroidered on it!" She cooed as I just smiled and nodded. She turned around to look at the push chair; I glared daggers at the back of her head and mimicked strangling her, then hastily dropped them when she turned around to look at me.

I gave her a sickly sweet smile and just said "I'll have to think about it." I let out a gust of air and turned to the door. Then I saw Edward standing there, leaning against the entrance, a big smirk on his face and his eyebrow raised at me. It almost looked like he was mouthing "Something you're not telling me? My jaw dropped. He looked at me, still smirking! He shook his head and walked away.

I regained my composure and stepped out the store trying to forget all about my pushchair ordeal and made my way back to the apartment.

*****

"Alice, Alice! Alice?" I called out to her "Guess who I saw!" I walked into the living room and saw her sitting on the sofa, with a tub of Ben and Jerry's in her lap watching Sex in the City the movie with the pink fluffy dressing gown she keeps here wrapped around her body. She was engrossed in watching the part where Sarah Jessica Parker gets out the car wearing the fabulous Vivienne Westwood dress. That dress is her dream wedding dress. I laughed at the expression on her face as she concentrated intensely on the TV her eyes not breaking away from the screen until the dress went away. Only then did she turn around and grin at me.

"Guess who I saw today!"

"Who? Tell me, tell me!" she said bouncing on the sofa. "Ooh, was it Ben Barnes? Yum." She drooled.

"No. Someone even better - Edward!" I squealed. Alice's face turned as hard as stone, her body completely rigid. Then she spoke quietly but seriously, with a tone I couldn't quite fathom.

"Edward? What do you mean Edward?"

**A free chocolate covered cullen with each review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey again its a new chapter the story is unfolding ooo dum dum dum !**

**Disclaimer:**

**US: we both own all the books so technichally....**

**Edward: no.**

**Us: Your just mean !**

I found myself in Wonderland  
Get back on my feet, on the ground  
Is this real?  
Is this pretend?  
I'll take a stand until the end

- Avril Lavinge – Alice underground

_Previously_

"_Guess who I saw today!" _

"_Who? Tell me, tell me!" she said bouncing on the sofa. "Ooh, was it Ben Barnes? Yum." She drooled._

"_No. Someone even better - Edward!" I squealed. Alice's face turned as hard as stone, her body completely rigid. Then she spoke quietly but seriously, with a tone I couldn't quite fathom._

"_Edward? What do you mean Edward?" _

_*****_

"What do you mean, what do I mean Edward?" I said getting worried by the look on Alice's face - something's up.

"I mean how do you know his name?" She said this to me slowly as if talking to a five year old.

"Oh! That." She nodded "Well, I had a dream last night with you, me and him where we were all secret agents on a case. It was so cool!" She looked at me.

"Bella! The point?"

"Oh right. Well, in the dream we started hugging and stuff and I said his name whilst talking to him. I don't know how my mind came up with that one, but I think it fits" I told her and her expression became relaxed "But the dream felt so real ya know? That would have been so cool the two of us as spies!"

"Yeah. Cool" she looked out of the window, expression distant. Her head then whipped round "I'm gonna go make a call" she said as she stood up and shuffled into the kitchen down the hall. I knew it was wrong but I had to know if something was up, so walked into the hall and eavesdropped. I couldn't hear much but from what I could hear Alice wasn't very happy.

"I stuck my neck out for you! ...No you listen... Bella is fine...making sure of it... keep your distance... she's getting suspicious" Keep your distance? Was someone stalking me? Does Alice know about this stalker? Was she encouraging him? No? She would never do that, encourage a stalker. Its ridiculous. There was a long pause of silence where I could hear Alice taking frustrated breaths.

"I think she's remembering things .... No... She told me she had a dream about... three of us she told me ...your name... need to tell HQ" My mind was spinning with all this information - my brain couldn't process it quick enough. What did she mean I was remembering things and HQ? What the hell is she on about? Is there a stalker HQ or something?

I managed to break away from my thoughts just to her the end of the conversation. "I'm worried Edward... remembers to soon...Bad ...I know, bye" Edward? She was talking to Edward? I was right about his name, but how? This is impossible, maybe… maybe it was a different Edward but that still doesn't explain the whole HQ thing and me remembering and 'keep your distance'.

Well at least I know he's not a stalker. Probably. He did seem to show up everywhere the past few days so it would make sense, but then she said something about my dream then about me remembering things. Could that dream be a memory of some kind? No, it can't be me and Alice are _not_ spies. Plus if it was that would mean that Edward and me were together.

Nope. Not possible.

Although, it would explain some of the strange things going on during the past few days like, when I 'first' met Edward.

_I saw two green eyes looking back at me giving me that déjà vu all over again._

_Those eyes..._

_He smiled into my neck as our bodies where pressed against one another. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me too him in a loving gesture. I could feel his breath on my neck sending shivers down my spine tracing his fingers along my bare hip bone, his green eyes capturing mine for a second._

"_Bella" he moa..._

_Oh dear lord. Was I just having fantasies about a total stranger? A total stranger whose hand I was still clinging to for dear life._

And then him and Alice at the coffee shop;

_His head shot up and he looked over here, I blushed and looked away but Alice kept on looking I noticed they seemed to be almost having a conversation with their eyes. It lasted for all but a second, I just about caught the exchange in their eyes. After a short amount of time his eyes flashed to mine then back to Alice, Alice's head whipped round to face me, a smile planted on her face._

"_What was that about?" she looked at me confused bringing her espresso cup to her lips._

"_What was what about?" she said giving me an incredulous expression_

"_Well, Alice, I highly doubt you where having a staring contest with him"_

"_What if I was?"_

"_Well, I've got dibs" just as I said this the guy looked up and smiled, oh God did he hear me!? No. No, impossible, I'm imagining things. Then why did he look so pleased with himself? Whilst I was pondering this Alice had took her phone out and started texting. I leaned over and took a look over her shoulder and she immediately moved it from my line of sight._

"_God Alice, you would make a crap spy"_

"_Really? And how would you know?" her eyebrows raised "Wait, that doesn't make any sense."_

It all does kind of make sense when I think about it - but how could me and Alice be spies? We've both been in between jobs for the past six months. Before that we both just had temp jobs because neither of us had found the right job yet! Oh god! It makes sense! But how could I not remember?

Then before our jobs we where both at college me majoring in English and Alice in fashion, Although come to think of it I never saw her diploma for her degree. I don't remember the last time I saw mine either. I jumped as I heard her start to walk towards me, her footsteps getting louder. I debated confronting her about it but I didn't know enough to accuse her of anything. Plus if I was wrong she would be pissed at me for listening in on her conversation.

Before I could debate with myself any further she rounded the corner, jumping when she saw me in the hall.

"Bella? What are you doing?"

"I was just thirsty and was getting a drink" I lied "Why? Was that conversation private?"

"Oh no!" She said quickly "Just wondering" She turned around, walking towards the living room when I had to go open my big mouth again and come out with one of the most stupid things I could think of. Go me!

"Just getting a cup of tea" Shit! Why did I say that and what in God's name made me say tea! "You know me and my tea addiction!" I chirped lying through my teeth. You see, when I lie I tend to start rambling and spurt a load of random word vomit.

"Since when?" Alice said turning back around to me slightly bemused at my odd behaviour.

"Since now!" Damn it!

I skipped into the kitchen and grabbed a tea bag out of the box I kept for Alice and other guests and plopped it into a cup. I grabbed the kettle and poured the water that was left in it in the cup. Like the idiot I am I started drinking it, then gagging as I realised the water was cold, I didn't add milk and I hate tea!

"Bella you hate tea" I know but I'm an idiot who's very bad at lying!

"No I love it!" I exclaimed trying not to gag as I swallowed the tea in my mouth. To save myself from any more misery I put the cup down "You know what? I'm not thirsty anymore, shame really because you know how much I love my tea!" I lied weakly shuffling out of the kitchen to the living room. Oh my god, well that didn't make her suspect anything at all, nooo!

Why? Why am I so incapable of lying to her?

I could hear the pitter patter of her footsteps behind me as she walked into the room. She walked round to sit on the sofa and looked at me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Her eyes searched my face "You seem a bit… jumpy?"

"Me? Jumpy? No!" I spluttered. I honestly think my brain was still fried from trying to process all that information and it wouldn't let me be sane again this afternoon. I'm not usually this stupid, I'm not! Really, I swear.

"O…kay. Whatever. Anyway, I've got to be somewhere this afternoon, so I can only stay for a little while, alright?" Alice said, looking at me like I was some kind of science experiment. This is all too weird! Why am I being so paranoid?

"Whatever. Great! Um, where d'you have to be." I was trying to be bouncy, and normal. I was obviously failing, as Alice gave me another strange look.

"Err, it doesn't matter. It's not important." Alice was brushing me off? What was with all this vagueness all of a sudden? I feel so hurt. Maybe Alice doesn't love me anymore! God, I'm Bipolar…

"Well, come on, if you've got to go to it, then it must be important. Why won't you tell me where you're going?" I asked a little concerned. It wasn't like Alice to be so secretive. She wasn't ill or something, was she? Maybe I'd got the phone call all wrong and it was actually something serious about Alice. "You're not ill, are you Ali?" I said softly, hoping the nickname would make her feel better.

"What? No, of course not, Bella. It's just this errand I've got to do. It's alright; I don't have a disease or anything." She smiled. "God Bella, you always jump to the wrong conclusions." She shook her head and stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom now." She announced.

"Thanks, Alice, I really needed to know that!" I yelled at her retreating back. I sighed and turned to the TV. God knows why I'm being so silly today. I rummaged around on the sofa, looking for the remote. I know it's here somewhere… Ah-hah! I pulled it from beneath the unwilling cushion and blew the fluff off it. Right, now. What to watch…

I pressed the on button and the TV blared to life, nearly deafening me with an irritating jingle about some cereal. Yes, I really need to hear a song about some cereal to go make me buy it! Advertising really confuses me sometimes.

I channelled surfed for a minute, and when I couldn't find anything interesting, I settled for the News. Might as well see what's been going on in the world …

Within five minutes I was thoroughly depressed. What was with the News? Why couldn't they talk about anything cheerful? Why was it always about death and dismemberment? Especially BBC News. They were incredibly unhappy. They didn't even smile reassuringly about anything! No. Of course not. They just sat there stone faced while telling me that a whole country was starving. What happened to helping people?!

I mean honestly they tell you good evening or morning then they go tells us about a country that is in the middle of a war or starving or someone's been murdered. God forbid anything cheerful happen in the world now that we be a sign of the apocalypse!

"And lastly, Sir Aro, of Volturi Operations has donated a substantial amount of money to The Priory Group, a charity that specialises in mental health care. Here is Jack Hadley to tell us more."

"Thanks, Sarah. The news that the infamous Sir Aro has donated money to a mental health group has sparked a lot of curiosity. As many of you know, Sir Aro is not known for his generous nature, so many have questioned his own sanity. Is his brilliant mind finally slipping? Or is this simply a ploy to make himself look good? We contacted his publicist, but all she could report is that he has donated £100,000 to the group. Back to you, Sarah."

"Thank you, Jack. Well, that's all we've got for now, folks, but here's the Weather with Katy Marsh." The woman gave a very plastic smile, and the screen switched to a picture of rain and a well dressed brunette holding a clicker.

"And as you can see, tomorrow will be wet and windy, with temperatures not going above 3 Degrees…" She droned on.

Well. That was a waste of time. Only one nice thing happened all day, and they question the guy's motives. The world was sick. I did recognise the name Sir Aro, though. I don't know why though… I didn't think he was that famous, and to be honest, the name kind of freaked me out. I didn't know why, it was just like my brain did not like him. Ridiculous.

Alice came thundering down the stairs at that moment.

"I'm back!" She sang. "Miss me?"

"I'm depressed. Leave me alone." I said, burrowing my face in the cushion,

"Why? What happened in the ten minutes I was gone?" Alice questioned, looking incredulous.

"I watched the News! It was so horrible. Nothing nice happened except for this one guy, Sir Aro or whatever his name was donated some money. And it's weird because he kind of creeped me out and I don't even know who he is! I don't like the News…" I rambled.

"Um, right. Okay then. Wait, did you say Sir Aro?" Alice said, looking worried. And pale, I'd never seen her go quite so white. Huh.

"Yup. Why?" And that was when I started to flash back.

"_Bella, beautiful Bella. How wonderful to see you. And you've brought your charming friend Edward with you. Splendid!" _

_I grimaced back. Aro was gracious, yes, but I didn't trust him one bit. He was the Italian Entrepreneur, who'd made millions with his inventions of various frightening weapons. Edward and I had been told to investigate him. HQ were interested in his somewhat more…shady dealings._

"_Thank you Aro, you don't have to be quite so nice you know." I said, glaring at Edward to get to the point of our little meeting. We'd had a game of Rock Paper Scissors to see who had to interrogate Aro. I'd won. To be honest, we were both slightly scared of Aro…_

_Edward rolled his eyes back at me and opened is mouth. He did have such a nice mouth. "Anyway, Aro, the reason we're here is that we've had reports of you being connected with a recent murder. I'm sure you've heard about it. The killer has been using products with your logo on them, and we wondered if you knew anything about it. We aren't suggesting you're the culprit, of course." Edward said easily. See. I knew it was better for him to ask the questions._

_I looked at Aro. Was it me or did he look slightly shifty? I looked closer. I was beginning to suspect that he did know something, especially because his eyes kept flickering to the door, like he wanted to escape._

"_I can assure you my lovely young ones that I have nothing to do with any murders." He sniffed. "How distasteful." His Italian accent only made it sound more like a lie. He smirked. "Well if that's all you came to discuss, won't you stay for lunch? Me and my daughter, Jane are going to have a delightful Roast."_

"_I'm afraid we'll have to decline, Aro. However, it does sound great." I pushed in. Damn. I was feeling really hungry as well._

"_And we're still not finished." Edward raised his eyebrow. "Anyone would think you're trying to deter us Aro." He laughed. "I assume that's not the case?" God, he did actually sound quite chilling. Note to self: never get on Edwards bad side._

_Aro tossed his long black hair over his shoulder, and gave Edward a glowering look. "I hope you're not trying to imply that my business is illegal, Mr Mason. I run a perfectly legal operation, albeit one that trades in weaponry, but it keeps me and my daughter comfortable. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I have nothing to do with those murders." His black eyes flashed, making him look dangerous. With his pale skin, he did kind of look like a vampire._

"_But, with all due respect sir, you do have _something_ to do with it. Your products are being used to murder the victims" I pointed out. I know I was being a smart arse, but I couldn't help it. Aro turned his glare on me. "The least you could do is give us the record of who you've sold any of your products to in the last six months."_

"_Fine." Aro replied curtly. "But that is all I will do, Miss Swan. I will not have the British secret service investigating my company. I will fax the records directly to you. Now will you leave me alone?" He sighed. Well, that was a change of heart. One minute he's begging us to stay for lunch, the next he's telling us to bugger off!_

_We nodded, but looked at each other; we both knew we'd be coming back with some more questions sooner or later. _

I came back to my own mind and shook my head to get rid of the weirdness. Why did this keep happening? I was getting sick of these 'visions', and in fact I was starting to wonder if they were real. The conversation Alice had was swimming in my mind too. I was getting really confused. I looked up at Alice, whose eyes were downcast. She was also biting her lip. In short, she looked guilty as hell.

"Alice, what the hell is going on?"

**ooo cliffie hope you enjoyed this chapter ! Next update will be soon.**


	5. AN 1

A/N Story is being moved to magicals single account the link is on our profile! It is still a collaboration story.


	6. AN 2

A/N Final authors note, this story is being taken down from this account its still going to be on magicals aka Monstergirls account, but were just removing it from here, its on Monstergirl245 and there should be a link on our profile for it, we know it hasnt been updated for a while but weve both been really busy with collage and such so we havent been able to get together to discuss it or just chat in general to write anymore of it but we assure you we are not abandoning it! we promise we will be putting an authors note up there as well but please still check it out and sends so love our way we feeling very underloved. ugh i hate when authors ask for reviews but were really not getting many and its frustrating when you work really hard on somthing.

Anyway, happy reading!

Lovage

Monstergirl245 aka magical and trulymadhatter aka randomness


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